A miracle, and one day at a time....

Sorry I have not posted in so long. But, I want to thank everyone for their condolences. So many folks I do not know, yet wished us well. I have no words for how it makes me feel that so many thought of us.

I want to share that I did get my miracle. Not the one I was hoping for, but nevertheless, a miracle. The last 2 days before Mom died, things were very unstable. The morning of her death, I got a call to come to the hospital. Jody,my daughter was staying with me, (my sisters have been in CA since they left on Feb 13th.)We tore up there, and without alot of detail, it was very clear that Mom wasn't going to make it. I had discussed code status with nurses, docs, family. She was to be a DNR but supportive measures,meds for BP, etc. The cardiologist was doing his best to figure out ways to get her kidneys to working. (I love him. He is an MD and a PhD in pharmacology research.)
Mom never became comatose. She was rousable. I had noticed her looking off at something I could not see every now and then, but particularly the night of the 10th and morning of the 11th.

She "told"-we lip read-her nurse she saw Jimmy-my Daddy. She told myself and Jody that Daddy was there.


She had had a pretty major heart attack-MI-the afternoon of the 10th. EKG tracings were very suspicious, and cardiac enzymes came back elevated.


All this to get to what was happening the morning of the 11th. I had so many people telling me what I SHOULD do. Some saying-take away all meds. Some saying keep supportive measures going, some saying time to snow&go(medical talk for giving a pt enough morophine that there would be no fear, gasping for breath, discomfort when the vent was discontinued.)


My daughter, being wiser than I thought she was in this area, said, you need to get off by yourself and not listen anymore. You'll know what to do.


So I left the room, and Jody pulled up a chair by her grandmother's bedside, held her hand, and just talked. About anything and everything. Times they had had, (my 2 kids spent more time than most children do with their grandparents),funny things, sad things, just everything.


I got a call on my cell phone about 10 min after I left"Mom, You have to get right back".When I got there, Mom had left. Her heart just stopped. I didn't have to make any further decision, God and Mom did that for me. Jody said she knew exactly when Mom had left, she was holding her hand and she described it as a feeling of energy, then great peace going through her.(All monitors had been turned off)


So I did get a miracle. And I know Daddy and the angels took her on Home.



Also, after spending days, I found a veterinary clinic in Houston that would take her pacemaker. That has been mailed to them. (It had only been used from 2/2 to 3/11) I hope some cool dog gets it. I hope they will let me know if one does.



There is so much. I am going to have to start another blog for everything about this. It will be a private one, but if some of you want the address, I will let you know it. (Gotta figure out how to do it too...)
The pups want to get back to their friends and have done a few things they want you to know about, so this will turn back into Sunny & Scooter's place.


Sunny and Scooter will be posting in a day or 2.

Again, thank you for all your thoughts and wishes and prayers.

Hugs and love to you all,
Jamie
ps if you do want to read the other blog, please email me, ok? that way I can keep better track. Also, if you know how to do this-start another blog, have it private, please let me know that,k? Thanks
the texas sun dog at g mail dot com

Bye for now, Mom

Mom left this world on 3/11/09 at 11:29 a.m. The rollar coaster ride has stopped, I guess. I just feel numb.

We'll be seeing you soon Mom. You must be so happy to be with Daddy again.

Sunny, Scooter & I will be back soon. Just a little time, or maybe not much. Who ever knows??

Since I am making no sense at all, let me just thank all of you for your prayers, wishes, vibes, zen,purrs, alll the support.

Hugs

Jamie, Sunny&Scooter

Petra's grammpa went to heaven

hay guz. mi poor petra pot pie's grammpa went to heaven on 3/7. Please leave some love for mi gurlfren an her family. (As u may no, taddy and figgy r hur cuzins or sumpfing.
sinz i doan spel so wel, sunny will finish. sad liks to u mi petrapot pie.
We all hope Petra(& Taddy & Figgy's) family know we have prayed for and with them. We are so sorr Motch, Pappy and all you fur and skin kids.
God Bless you
Sunny&Jamie

Mom wants ice cream!!! And a quiz, if you dare! heh

Here's my MOM!! and her 3 children.(Pay attention-you will have a quiz on this pic) :)

Since this roller coaster goes up and down, I am determined to enjoy any upward direction. (Hey, you take your joys when you can, no matter how large or small.....) Mom wants ice cream!!!! (She' ll get it too. She can let ice chips melt in her mouth, the speech therapist gave her chocolate pudding last week- Mom said "WOW" (When I say that Mom "said" something, we lipread. She is not writing as much) They thought(and so did I she'd be zonked out today after yesterday, but she is smiling at her nurse, asking for ice cream, and wanting to sit up on the side of the bed(she was sposed to yesterday, but, you know what happened)

So, I take my good day-it is beautiful outside, and who knows what will happen?

That arrow on my fence? Reminds me as I look at it everday now, that God(by whatever name you call Him) is in control and really, all I can do is pray. He loves us all, and never gives us more than we can handle. (though sooo often we all think he does! )

My sweet daughter came to stay with me last night and is here today. Jody-you are a blessing.

Now for the quiz-this is a pic of my Mom on her 80th birthday. All 3 of her daughters are with her. Can you guess which one is me???

Hugs,

Jamie and the keds

AHEM-"THE KIDS??????" Is this a DOG BLOG?? Hmmmphh "the kids....mutter...after all I do for that woman...mutter,mutter mutter scooter let's just go sulk a good long time. see how she likes it. the kids indeed....sunny

quicky update

Mom has become more positve which makes me happy. However I got a call today from the hospital(geez-if I don't faint and fall out over this phone call stuff one day...heh) Anyhow, they wanted me to come up due to a "change in her condition" WHAT DO YOU MEAN?????
Long story short, BP had bottomed out, Blood gases were ALL out of whack. When I got there and saw the crash cart in her room, gulp-but it was there for "in case". They gave her an IV drug to bring her BP up and changed the vent settings. Tonight she is stable.
So, the roller coaster refuses to stop......but, one day at the time.
I don't even know what to wish for anymore, so I pray as one should. Not my will, Lord, but yours. All I know to do.
Thanks so much to everyone. And I want to do a post for Lulu and Klaus. By her stories,(gosh I laughed at the 666- Way to get her attention, Klaus!!) She is helping me-you all are, but just someone that is right here, right now with all the same crap, somehow helps.....
We love and appreciate you all.(dropped my cell phone in Sunny's water bucket-crap-it may be a goner...)
God Bless you all, and thank you all so much for helping us feel better.
Hugs
Jamie

clarification about respecting Mom's wishes

to the 4 Bs: I have tried to honor each and every request my mom has. I have medical power of attorney. she had told me MANY times she did not want to live on machines. At the time of her code,(which involved compressions, not shocking ,as she went flat line 3 times, had she made herself a DNR she would have gotton that request honored) Hell, I felt guilty she was on the vent, but 3 docs told me she could get off. She is making herself full code now(one of my questions for her yesterday) and I am respecting that.(She nodded yes to are you afraid of dying?) That is one thing I will ALWAYS do-respect her wishes, even if it meant pulling the plug.). But I also will tell her what I think of her decision to give up and veg out on a machine in a blankety nursing home. Most of which are so understaffed that they are hell on earth... just wanted it clarified. I know it is her life, but, I do not know if she is thinking clearly, and it DOES affect all of her family. As an ICU nurse, I know there are much worse things than dying. But so be it as far as Mom's requests go. I will honor them-always.
Thanks to all of you, hugs,
Jamie
pee ess I don't mean to sound angry. 4 B's I love your poodle guys, just wanted to clarify.

More than I can handle for now

I'm sorry. I know everyone is mourning Klaus(as are we) No, Mom is not dead. But she "told" me tonight that she was not going to try anymore(she hasn't been much) to get off the breathing machine. That she still wanted all measures taken(shocking, cpr, etc). And has no problem with going from where she is to a nursing home that takes care of vent patients.(where she will die-closest one is far away-if she won't try anymore she may not live long enough to make it there anyway) I said alot of things. That she was killing me, and could she not think of her daughters(3), grandkids(6) and great grandkids(2) especially Maddy who lives here -who she sees all the time-her other grandson lives in Ca. nope. maybe someday I'll have the energy to relay the whole conversation, but I am all cried out, and tired and, I don't know what else.
I'm sorry to post this right now. And maybe I shouldn't. My heart is breaking. I have never felt so alone in this big world. And I hate saying all this the day after Klaus' passing. I'll be back. Maybe soon, maybe a while. I don't know.

Heads respectfully bowed for Klaus

I got home and found out the terrible news

We are so sad to learn about Klaus. The dogs and I respectfully bow our heads in his honor. God has a new angel now. Our heart breaks for Lulu and Bogart.

I feel as though I have lost a friend, and that another of my friends is in such pain I would do anything to help. Amazing how close we can all be to our fellow DWBers. We love you Lulu. If you need anything, let us know. We are here for you.

Sad licks from Sunny&Scooter

Sad tears and hugs for you and Bogie, Lulu.